Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
