I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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