i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize