i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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