Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
