I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i need some magic done to my vagina
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
