Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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