I wanna bring you to show and tell
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
why is half of my head shaved?
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