I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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