You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
