So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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