so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
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Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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