I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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