she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
