is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
