i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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