I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
