Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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