Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
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I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.