I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.