Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3

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(214): View more from Texas

My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night

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(214): My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night http://tfl.nu/co3c

Replies (32) Good night (5471) Bad night (2448) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore

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(541): I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore http://tfl.nu/6v6s

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(818): View more from California

Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.

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(818): Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you. http://tfl.nu/btkl

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.

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(704): He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him. http://tfl.nu/wgyi

Replies (25) Good night (6617) Bad night (875)
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(630): View more from Illinois

But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them

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(630): But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them http://tfl.nu/vxlz

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(636): View more from Missouri

there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter

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(636): there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter http://tfl.nu/6rqt

Replies (3) Good night (2315) Bad night (850)
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(302): View more from Delaware

you goin out tonight?

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

who is this.

(302): View more from Delaware

your orgasm for tonight

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(302): you goin out tonight? (267): who is this. (302): your orgasm for tonight http://tfl.nu/bzdn

Replies (12) Good night (4915) Bad night (651)
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(217): View more from Illinois

He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..

(1-217): View more from Illinois

YOU would be the Freshman Expirence

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(217): He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that.. (1-217): YOU would be the Freshman Expirence http://tfl.nu/md5b

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(847): View more from Illinois

He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.

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(847): He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited. http://tfl.nu/2tlf

Replies (20) Good night (6621) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org

(516): View more from New York

.org?

(631): View more from New York

yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.

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(631): if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org (516): .org? (631): yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night. http://tfl.nu/4hpr

Replies (8) Good night (2698) Bad night (494)
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(+55): View more from

Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.

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(+55): Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept. http://tfl.nu/o11x

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(806): View more from Texas

It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.

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(806): It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there. http://tfl.nu/4q4i

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(217): View more from Illinois

he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.

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(217): he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex. http://tfl.nu/9sp5

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season

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(601): I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season http://tfl.nu/0ij4

Replies (7) Good night (362) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt

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