i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.