Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
