Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
