someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
