I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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