so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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