'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
