Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
