My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
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I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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