Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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