i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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