don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
