I looked at my own cervix.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
