she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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