You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
