I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize