There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
