you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
