I forgot how hot balto sounded
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
