when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize