He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
