don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize