i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
