It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
