so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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