Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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