i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This is not my ceiling
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
