i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
