im six kinds of drunk right now
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
