Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
