I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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