what if every blade of grass was a penis?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
