I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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