I'm really into asian looking animals
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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