Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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