i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
