I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
