I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's never too late to be topless.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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