My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
