All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
